Blanchard for Others

Bringing your first foster child into the home can be quite anxiety-provoking. There is so much to consider… You want to make sure you that the child has a smooth transition and also ensure that you are still able to keep up with your other commitments in life. You’ve done all the paperwork and have attended all the classes, but it can leave you wondering “have I done enough?”

Source: cdn.mediamart.vn

First, take a breath and congratulate yourself. Foster care can have a huge positive impact on the foster children’s’ lives and good on you for being prepared to take on this challenge!

Now to help you prepare for this challenge, we have compiled some tips on preparing your home and your family. Read on for these below:

The intent of the system is to place the child in the least restrictive setting compatible with good care, with the ultimate goal, when feasible, of returning the child as quickly as possible back to the parents or legal guardians. — Glen R. Elliott, MD, PhD

Preparing yourself:

1. Gather as much information as you can about fostering. Attend the classes available and don’t be afraid to ask questions. Fostering can be a lot more complicated than raising biological children and no-one expects you to know everything straight away. It can be helpful to speak to others who have fostered before and gained an understanding of their experiences too.
2. Through this process, find out what support services are available and come up with an “if all else fails” plan.
3. Make sure you have a good support network. As foster children often come from a difficult past, it will likely take them some time to settle and this can put stress on yourself and your family. Make sure that you have some good supports in your life you can go to who agree with your decision to foster so that you can manage your own stress.
4. Remember that there is no exact rule-book on this. It’s not going to be a perfect fit straight away and it’s unlikely that everything will go to plan. What is most important is that you are willing to learn from these experiences and use them to grow and become a stronger foster parent with time.

               

Source: abc.net.au

We can teach kids the skills they need to create and maintain lots of strong social connections, and we can rig their environment to make a dense web of relationships possible. — Christine L. Carter Ph.D.

Preparing your family:

1. Before you even decide on becoming a foster parent, you should make sure that this is best for yourself and your current family situation. For example, if things are not very stable at home, maybe there’s been lots of arguments lately or maybe you have a newborn or challenging child yourself it may not be the best time to introduce a foster child into the home.
2. Ensure you and your family are all on the same page and understand why you are bringing a foster child into the home.
3. Explain to your children why foster care is needed and that it is not that the child is trying to take their mother or father from your children, but that you have stepped in because unfortunately their mother and father cannot help the child right now.
4. Warn your children that the foster child is likely to be a little scared or nervous, to begin with, and may take some time to settle. This could cause them to behave in strange ways, lash out or become withdrawn. Make sure your children know how to welcome the child without impeding on their space.
5. Keep open communication in the home so that if your children feel uncomfortable at any time they can come to you.
6. Keep in mind that due to their difficult past some foster children can engage in some challenging behaviors such as inappropriate sexual or physical behavior or self-harming. Have clear set rules around what is acceptable and what is not and make sure your children have some tools to deal with this if they are exposed to such behavior. Most importantly, ensure they come to you or your partner to discuss this if they are exposed. Some really helpful tips around this can be found at https://www.thespruce.com/prepare-child-for-foster-adopted-sibling-27463

Preparing the home:

1. Make sure they have their own space. Somewhere to place the things that are important to them. Given foster children often do not have many possessions, they can be very protective of those they do have. Ensure that your children are aware of the importance of this.
2. Shut away anything dangerous (e.g. chemicals etc). Foster children may not have been given any guidance on the safe use of such things so it is best to keep them out of reach.
3. Have some extra clothes, toothbrush, and toiletry items and some toys just for your foster child to help them feel welcome in the home.

You can establish structure for a child by implementing house rules and child-specific goals, by linking privileges to responsibilities, and by creating safe and private spaces for children to be and discover who they are. — Blake Griffin Edwards LMFT

Source: homes.winshape.org

Preparing your friends and others in your life:

1. Tell your friends your intentions and why you are interested in becoming a foster parent. Be aware that they may not agree with this decision, and be prepared for some people to provide negative or unhelpful comments. This is why having your own support network is so important.
2. Speak to your employer to let them know your plans. Foster parenting can involve a lot of tasks above what would be expected for a biological child (such as court cases and attending services) so prepare your employer that you may need some time off here and there.

For further information on preparing your family and your home for a foster child please see the links below.

Resources:

http://www.fccy.org/blog/foster-care-pa/preparing-a-bedroom-for-your-foster-child/

http://fostercareourlovestory.blogspot.com.au/2011/02/prepping-our-house-for-foster-care.html

https://www.thespruce.com/prepare-child-for-foster-adopted-sibling-27463

Welcome Home: How All Family Members can Prepare for Their Newly Adopted or Foster Child

 

 

Source: swd.gov.hk

Bringing your first foster child into the home can be nerve-wracking for yourself and your family. However, it can be even more anxiety provoking for the foster child themselves. They have often come from unsafe and unstable backgrounds and sometimes have a history of trauma and abuse. So they don’t really know what to expect when moved to another home. Of course, you want to do the right thing by them and are doing so by providing a safe and supportive home life. Yet, no matter how wonderful the home or the family are, if the foster child is unable to settle it can be a difficult experience for everyone.

To help with this process, there are a few things you can do at the beginning of the foster relationship to try to help the child feel at home…

Children who have been removed from their parents can be cautious about trusting others, so allowing the child the space to talk about the situation on their own terms creates an opportunity for them to build trust with you. —  Paul C. Milford, MSW, RCSWI

On their first day:

1. Introduce yourself

• Only introduce yourself and the family members who will be living in the home on this day. Try not to overwhelm them by introducing extended family members or friends at this stage.
• When doing so, get down to their level and make eye contact. If they look away, don’t force it. Try and pick up signs from their body language and give them more space if they seem to be pulling away.
• If the child is older, give them an opportunity to decide what they would rather call you. If they are younger, it may be best you decide this for them.

2. Give them something to eat

• Often food has been a scarce resource for these children. Feeding them will not only show them that you are caring but also show them that they will never go hungry in your home.
• You can use this as a bonding point to ask them some of their favorite and least favorite foods.

3. Give them a tour of the home

• Show them around the home and outline the common living areas and those that are for them alone.
• When you get to their room, make sure you tell them it is their space and that if you have other children in the home, the foster child is aware they will respect this. This way, they know they have somewhere that they can go if they feel overwhelmed.

4. Outline expectations

• Outline the basic house rules.
• Try not to overwhelm them with every single little thing you expect, but focus mainly on the essential do’s and don’ts in the house.
• Often because these children have come from such difficult backgrounds we may be tempted to be overly lenient on them. However, setting rules and expectations can actually help them feel more secure in your home which is one of the most important things you can provide.

5. Now take a step back

• Give them time to explore their new home. They are likely quite overwhelmed and may wish to have some time to themselves. Make sure you respect this, but also continue to let them feel welcome.

Foster parents receive reimbursement, usually a per-diem rate per child in the range of $20–$25/day, depending on the state (the amount increases if more intensive psychiatric or medical conditions exist). As a clinician, you will want to have a sense of who the child’s foster family is so that you can assess the appropriateness of placement and adequacy of parenting, just as you would with any other child or adolescent. — Glen R. Elliott, MD, PhD

The first few weeks:

                     

       Source: thespruce.com

Be prepared to spend a lot of time at home in the next few weeks. Often children in foster care have been neglected or cared for inconsistently. They have then been taken away from everything they have ever known so naturally, it will take some time to settle.

During the first few weeks, you want to spend as much time at home and with the foster child as possible. This doesn’t necessarily mean being joined at the hip. It is more a chance to show them that you will be a stable influence in their life. Use this time to bond with the child, make lots of eye contact when possible and if they like cuddles, give lots of cuddles. Spend some time getting to know what they like and dislike and play games with them. This may seem like spoiling them, but often these children have not had a chance to be just children. This plays a vital role in their development and by spending this time with them you give them the chance to experience childhood while also developing their trust.

                   

 

     

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Source: inclusiveschools.org

 

Remember…

These children have often come from extremely difficult and frightening backgrounds and they will likely take some time to work you and your family out. They may take some time to trust you and trying to force the issue won’t work. You need to be flexible and patient. Talk to the foster child and ask them if there is anything you or the family can do to help them feel more comfortable. If they don’t speak much, try and work off their body language. It’s about finding the balance between being loving and compassionate without being pushy or overbearing. Just trust that with some patience and compassion, they will come to you.

You can nurture a child by engaging them in playful as well as skill-building activities that facilitate opportunities to explore relationships and the world around them, heaping affection unconditionally, lavishing praise on every effort, large or small, and showing a genuine interest in their lives. — Blake Griffin Edwards LMFT

Given most foster children have difficult backgrounds, it may also be helpful to seek some counseling support around this transition. Contact your GP for further information on how to access this support.

For more information on welcoming a foster child into your home see the links below:

Resources:

https://looneytunes09.wordpress.com/2010/01/31/to-foster-parents-top-10-things-to-make-a-foster-childs-first-day-easier/

https://thefosterlife.com/2015/03/13/foster-care-the-first-30-days/

https://www.thespruce.com/first-weeks-home-with-foster-child-27536

Foster care children can have an array of behavioral problems and specific psychiatric disorders. The process of being taken out of one’s home and separated from parents and siblings is stressful, even in the absence of a specific traumatic event. — Glen R. Elliott, MD, PhD

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Source: mydeal.com.au

As a foster parent, all you want to do is provide a safe, supportive and loving household for your foster child. The fact that you have chosen to become a foster parent shows that you are a very caring person and have a lot of love to offer. Sometimes though no matter how much love you give, it can be quite difficult to connect with your foster child. You may find yourself continuously putting yourself out there, trying to connect but getting nothing but a brick wall, anger or fear in return. This can be extremely upsetting and I can certainly understand if you’re ready to throw the towel in…

But don’t give up!

Due to the unique environment of a foster relationship and the experiences foster children have been through before coming to your home, there could be a number of reasons why you just aren’t connecting. Before you can even try to connect, it is important to work out why your foster child may be reacting a particular way. Then, you can look at ways to get around this.

From children being separated from parents at the Mexican border, to the rising rates of anxiety and depression in children, to the growing research on how adverse childhood events (ACEs) lead to symptoms of trauma, there is no denying children are suffering. — Hilary Jacobs Hendel LCSW

Understanding their background:

Source: expertbeacon.com

First, it is very important to understand the background of your foster child. They may have been neglected, abused physically, mentally, sexually or had other traumatic experiences. This is certainly not something you should bring up with them (unless they decide to bring it up themselves and want to talk about it) as often they want to “forget” or “block out” these experiences as their way of coping. So you may not have all the ins and outs of this information. What is important though is to know is that all of the things above impact the development of attachment and this will likely be what is causing the difficulties connecting with your foster child.

So what is attachment?

Source: essentialbaby.com.au

All parents have responsibility to nurture both attachment and autonomy. Children need to learn how to bond emotionally with others, navigate appropriate boundaries, and self-soothe difficult emotions.  — Blake Griffin Edwards LMFT

Attachment is the relationship that each

a person develops with their caregiver as they grow through infancy. As this is the first person we interact with in life it sets the tone of how we interact in all our other relationships. If the attachment is healthy, then later in life we are able to connect well with others, if not, we may tend to be guarded and find it difficult to trust others.

What is considered a healthy form of attachment is called “secure attachment”. This is where the child is attached enough to the caregiver to become upset when separated from them, but calms down once the caregiver returns and comforts them and still feels the confidence to explore and play with other children while the caregiver is present. A secure attachment is developed through the caregiver being consistently available and responsive to the child’s needs while not being overbearing. It provides the belief to the child that they are worthwhile and valuable.

Unhealthy attachment styles develop when the caregiver neglects the child or is inconsistently responsive to the child’s needs. Due to this, the child develops the unconscious understanding that others cannot be relied upon and they may develop strategies such as being emotionally guarded towards others to try and manage this.

What can I do?

Source: verywell.com

The amazing thing is that if your foster child has an unhealthy attachment style you can help change this. Just by providing a safe home, food and basic care you are already showing this child that you are consistent and are there to care for them. Other ways that you can help them connect with you include:

• Spend time getting to know them, what do or don’t they like?
• Plan activities around their interests, show them you don’t have an ultimatum, you just want to spend time with them.
• Be consistent, set up a routine in the home and stick to this.
• Set boundaries in the home and give them an understanding of your expectations. Make sure you stick to this. Although you may feel cruel at the time, by providing appropriate boundaries you can actually help the child feel more secure and cared for.
• If they are open to it, use safe touch to calm them or comfort them.
• Is there anything you can teach them that will help them in the future? For example, can you teach them how to cook? If so, spend time doing this.
• Above all, know that consistency and reliability is the key.

Most importantly…

Know that just because they might pull away, become angry or upset when you try and interact with them, that this is just their way of protecting themselves. So far, their caregivers have let them down, so they are scared to be open to anyone else. No matter what happens, try not to give up or pull away from yourself as this just reinforces their belief that eventually, everyone will let them down.

If you are having significant difficulties and feel as though nothing is helping it may be beneficial to seek counseling. However, try and make this an activity that you can do together so the child does not feel as though they are being ‘palmed off’ to the counselor. Contact your GP for further information on accessing counseling.

To read more on connecting with your foster child and attachment, please see the links below.

Resources:

02. Attachment theory and research

http://therelationshipcenter.us/family-therapy/parenting/cant-connect-foster-child/

http://www.scie.org.uk/publications/guides/guide07/carers/profiles/simmonds.asp

Saying goodbye:

This is the hardest part….you’ve taken this child in, fed them, cared for them, earned their trust and even fallen in love with them, now you have to say goodbye. This might be because they are ready to return to their biological parents, ready to move out of home or even just need to be moved to another foster home (often decided by the courts). This can often happen quite quickly but even if they took their time it would still be difficult. There are a few things you can do though to ease this transition.

In some cases, loving foster parents feel they have to give up on their wards and send the foster child back. The child may then be given a new placement in another foster home or a group home, perpetuating the cycle of a child who is not offered the chance to form long-lasting relationships so important to proper emotional development. — Susanne Babbel MFT, PhD

Source: bp.blogspot.com

1) Get in early

The earlier you are able to begin preparing yourself and your child for the move, the easier it will be on the both of you (as well as the family the child is going to).

2) Ask for guidance

Ask the social worker and others involved in the care of the foster child how you can best assist with the move and prepare your child.

3) Let the child know

Explain gently to the child that they will be moving soon. Be aware that they may react poorly to this information, they might act out or they might become overly clingy towards you. It is important to remember that this is not personal, they are simply just hurting right now. Try and assure the child that it is nothing that they have done that has caused the move and emphasize some of the positive things that could come out of the move.  Also, encourage them to ask any questions that they might have; it is important that they feel part of the process and giving them a chance to air their thoughts and get all the information helps with this.

Court-appointed social workers would be working with the biological mother and/or father and child to see if there was any chance that the family could be reunited while the child was living with a foster family who might want to adopt him. — Meredith Resnick L.C.S.W.

Source: youtube.com

4) Introduce the child to the new (or old) home gradually

Depending on how much time you have before the move, this can start as simple as driving past the home, showing them some of the shops and schools nearby and it can move up to meeting the new family and even having a weekend visit with them. This will help the child to begin to get used to the family and their surroundings.

5) Don’t make them pick a side

Let them know how much you will miss them when they are gone. It is important that they know that you have bonded with them also. However, make sure that they also know that it is okay to love their new family. Sometimes they may feel a loyalty to you and your family (especially if you have come to love and trust each other) so this loyalty may make it difficult for them to bond with their new family. If they know that you want them to bond with them though, it can help this process.

We know that children do well when they are raised by parents who are intentional in their parenting, who are proactive, provide prosocial role models for their children, and who are nurturing, loving, responsive, and sensitive. — Jill Duerr Berrick, PhD

Source: cdn.newsapi.com.au

6) Fill the new family in

You remember the teething period with your child when they first came into your care? The tantrums, tears and a frightened child acting out? Wouldn’t have been nice if you had some tips and tricks to start with? Well now you do….after the time you have spent with your child, you would have come to know what their fears are, their favorite foods, the things that make them happy and what calms them down. Sharing this information with the new family will help them have a base to start with. This will help them to manage any challenging behavior (and be more empathetic about it), bond with them and to manage their overall needs.

7) Finally, say goodbye

Make sure your foster child has something to remember you and your family by and show them that you will keep something to remind you of them (perhaps a picture). Often foster children have difficulty forming attachments to people and it is important they know just how much they do mean to you (and that it is not by any fault of theirs that they have to move). Otherwise, they will begin to question this attachment and this will make it even harder for them to bond with others in the future.

For more information on saying goodbye to your foster child, please see the links below.

Resources:

https://adoption.com/saying-goodbye-to-a-child

https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/advice-information/looking-after-fostered-child/saying-goodbye-children

https://www.thespruce.com/explain-a-move-to-foster-child-27085

http://www.helpstartshere.org/kids-and-families/adoptions-and-foster-care/adoption-and-foster-care-tip-sheet-helping-children-find-permanence-a-guide-for-foster-parents.html

Sadly, many children within the foster system have experienced the trauma of some sought, be it physical, sexual or emotional abuse, witnessing other violent events or overall neglect. Understandably, such events have a significant impact on the child and in an attempt to try and overcome or deal with these events the child may begin to interact with others or behave in a different way. Sometimes these new behaviors can be quite challenging and may even be harmful to the child or others. So in order to be able to care for these children, we require a sound understanding of trauma and the unique needs of children who have experienced such horrible events.

Since many children are removed by child protective services because of neglect, abuse, or unsafe living situations, foster care children may have complex reactions of relief combined with guilt and feelings of abandonment. — Glen R. Elliott, MD, PhD

Source: nfpaonline.org

So what is trauma?

Trauma is an event that threatens the life or safety of either the child or someone who they love and are close to. It can take many forms and as described above, ones of these forms can be through abuse or neglect. However, trauma can also occur through witnessing others being violent towards their caregivers, accidents and natural disasters.

Source: themumsgroup.com.au

How does trauma impact us?

Our brains learn by what we experience in the world around us. So if we find something scary or life-threatening, our brain is sure to remember this so we can make sure we do not get into a similar situation again. When the brain remembers the traumatic event, it does not just remember what happens, because it knows how important it is not to forget this threat, it remembers sounds, smells, feelings, people, places and even emotions. If we later experience any of these things again (such as a campfire and we had been stuck in a bushfire before) it can trigger us to remember this event and experience all the fear we experienced the first time all over again.

How much a traumatic event impacts us will depend on both ourselves and the nature of the trauma. If we have an anxious or fearful disposition, we are very young and don’t have many coping strategies the trauma can be more harmful. It can also be more harmful if it happens multiple times (opposed to a once off event), if there are a number of other stressful factors present (such as drugs and alcohol abuse in the family, physical abuse and low SES status), or if we don’t have much social support.

What does it look like for kids?

For anyone re-experiencing a traumatic event can be extremely distressing. As adults, we have generally developed some coping strategies to manage our responses to such distress, but as children sometimes their reactions can look like defiance or over-sensitivity. This is because when their trauma is triggered, they are not only remembering the event, they are actually reliving it. This reliving sends the body into a flight, fight or freeze response which may involve the child shutting down and ignoring you, trying to run away or escape or acting out and hitting, kicking or throwing things. To people who are unaware of the child’s background, this will likely look like a temper tantrum and they may try to discipline the child. This will NOT help though…

Source: marshfoundation.org

The first step is to figure out what the child already knows and feels about the situation. This can be done by creating an opportunity for the child to talk openly about the situation with you. —  Paul C. Milford, MSW, RCSWI

What should you do?

Don’ts

1. Take it personally, they are not reacting to you but reacting to the trauma that has been triggered.
2. Use physical punishment as this can frighten the child further.
3. Lose your cool; no one is going to get anywhere with two emotional people involved.
4. Invade their space; if they push you away, keep some distance but stay within sight and provide support when appropriate.
5. Lose your patience; their very essence of trust in people has been broken. It will take some time to get this back.
6. Blame the child. It is not their fault they have had this experience and they often cannot control how they behave when triggered. Blaming them will only put shame and sadness on top of what they are already experiencing.

Do’s

1. Try and get to know your child so that you can identify when they are being defiant opposed to when their trauma has been triggered.
2. Maintain consistency so that the child learns that you can be trusted and develops a more secure attachment (head over to our page on connecting with your foster child [how to connect with your foster child] for more information on attachment).
3. Learn your child’s triggers and try to reduce these in the short-run and learn some ways they can be calmed when re-experiencing the trauma.
4. Allow them to have some control over their environment by giving them choices.
5. When calm, teach your child how to identify their feelings and tell you and others these feelings.
6. Teach them some ways to calm themselves and to express their feelings in a helpful manner (such as throwing or punching pillows, ripping up phone books, etc). If they do these things make sure you give them lots and lots of praise.
7. Seek support through a professional counselor. A counselor can help you and your child to explore their trauma response in a safe environment and develop adaptive coping strategies you can work on together at home. Make sure this is a collaborative effort (unless the child asks to go to counseling alone). As often children may feel “abandoned” or “palmed off” if they are sent to a counselor alone.

To say it again: there is no stronger predictor of happiness than how robust and positive a child’s “village” is, so do what you can to foster relationships with neighbors, teachers, and members of your community. — Christine L. Carter Ph.D.

For more information on supporting a child with a traumatic background, please see the links below.

Resources:

https://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/family-dynamics/adoption-and-foster-care/Pages/Parenting-Foster-Adoptive-Children-After-Trauma.aspx

https://www.adoptuskids.org/meet-the-children/children-in-foster-care/about-the-children/understanding-trauma

https://www.healthychildren.org/English/healthy-living/emotional-wellness/Pages/Helping-Your-Child-Cope.aspx

Over the past several years, I traveled around the country and read widely to learn about the creative ways that people are living now. Those nuclear family households that we once considered “traditional” now comprise fewer than 20 percent of all households in the U.S. The vast majority of us need to find new ways to live. — Bella DePaulo, Ph.D

Whenever we see people in the streets begging for food or money, one thing that comes to our minds is that they are homeless people. Well, it could be a correct presumption, being with no home and all, but not all homeless persons are in the streets. Families who lost their homes can stay in public shelters, can find work and also pay for their daily expenses. Whether they are living on the streets or in a public shelter, the problem of homelessness leads to several effects that most of us don’t realize. This article will discuss the most common effects of homelessness on the person and his family.

Source: huffingtonpost.com

Homelessness Defined

Homelessness is defined as not having a permanent home or place of residence. A person can lose his home if he can no longer afford to pay for it. It could be that he lost his job or lack the additional financial capacity to pay for it, like in the case of getting widowed wherein both partners share and have enough income to maintain the home. But with one person alone, there may not be enough to spend, not to mention the daily expenses for each member of the family.

According to one estimate, the number of veterans without stable accommodation was placed at nearly 58,000 (12 percent of the known homeless across the U.S.) as of 2013. — Romeo Vitelli Ph.D.

The Most Common Effects of Homelessness

Physical and Mental Health Issues

Without proper housing, individuals are more prone to develop health consequences both in the physical and mental aspects. Elements like increased threats of injury and accidents by living in the streets, extreme weather conditions, and unintentional overdose were all linked to mortality rates. Quality of life among homeless persons are identified as poor sleeping habits, chronic pain, limited access to medications, and even poor sanitary conditions. Physical health problems such as dental problems, skin and foot problems, and chronic infections are very much common.

Homeless persons are also more vulnerable to experience other problems such as abuse and neglect. Adolescents are observed to engage more in illegal acts, substance abuse, and alcohol intoxication.

Source: voiceofoc.org

Violation of the Law and other Criminal Acts

Statistics on homeless persons committing violence and other criminal acts are very high. Authorities have identified homeless persons committing illegal behavior as chronic criminals, supplemental criminals, criminals out of necessity, substance abusers, or the mentally ill.

Tourism and Economy

For the local business sectors, homeless persons are considered pariahs for reasons that they are not pleasing to see around the business area. Their presence can limit customers and tourists. They are also threats to the security and safety of passersby. Although there are no official studies to support this claim, local authorities have conveyed that there are several police reports that pertain to such complaints.

The homeless people would wear t-shirts as part of the position, stating that they are a Wi-Fi hotspot. This pretty directly insinuates that these people were, to an extent at least, being dehumanized. — Nathan A Heflick Ph.D.

Source: aol.com

Conclusion

The problem of homelessness is an ongoing social issue and the government in connection with local states have their very own solutions presented. There are welfare programs for those who cannot afford food and medicines. Temporary home-like public shelters are also available. Job opportunities are around and even schooling for children whose family is homeless are available. To some, homeless persons are considered pangs of society because of the negative image they bring, but it’s not always the case. In as much as the government should be looking after them, each person is also expected to work hard in order to solve his problem of being homeless.

Finding What Works For You

Making the decision to seek out the support of a therapist or counselor is an important step for any family. As a foster parent, finding the right form of support is not a decision that can be taken lightly. With the various types of counseling, the decision to choose the method best suited for your family unit will require some research.

 

There are a number of factors that should be taken into consideration. Not only do you only have to take into consideration the current family dynamics but one also has to consider the history and the mental health of the foster child. Another important factor to consider, before setting out to seek support, is to understand what you hope to achieve through the counseling sessions.

Part of healthy development involves a differentiation of self. People with a poorly differentiated self are more likely to be dependent on the approval and acceptance of others, to the point that they will try to please or bully others into agreeing with them. — Sharie Stines, PsyD

What Are the Benefits of Family Counseling?

Source: browardstudentservices.com

Bringing a child from the foster system into your home and an already established family can be a stressful experience which may place a strain on family relationships. With counseling, you can find the tools and resources to aid in understanding and enabling cooperation among your family unit.  With therapy, members of the family unit can learn to support each other and work together to minimize the disruption that adding a member to an already functioning family dynamic can give rise to.

The Types of Service Providers Available

Source: napca.org

Let’s start by looking at the types of counselors that are available. The treatment plans these therapists and counselors will work with will vary from family to family as they would be adjusted to accommodate the needs and objectives of the family unit.  To name a few of these counselors/experts:

 

• Professional Counsellors
• Social Workers
• Marriage & Family Therapists
• Psychologists
• Psychiatrists

Some of us have more awareness of the family dynamics and significant events carried in our lineage than others. Yet even on the clearest nights, our vistas are limited by the distance that the naked eye can see. — Katrina Michelle, PhD, LCSW

How Will Therapy Help My Family?

 

The objective of counseling is to offer the family guidance and advice on how best to address the challenges they face. Through advice, they can teach families how to support each other and most importantly, give them the tools to resolve any obstacles and practical concerns that could arise.

What Are The Types Of Counseling Available?

 

There are a number of different types of counseling available. Families could use one or multiple counseling services. The types of counseling you choose should address any concerns or challenges while teaching you the tools and resources to deal with and resolve them. These services can be used individually by family members, addressed as a group or a combination of both.

 

• Individual counseling which can include talking and sharing privately the challenges or stress you can be facing. Through one-on-one sessions with the counselor, you can be open and speak freely without the concern of anyone else in the family take offense
• Couples counseling can play an important role for foster parents to ensure their personal bonds remain strong. Facing challenges and the stresses can place a lot of strain on personal relationships.

Source: insighttherapyllc.com

One major reason that many people, especially men, do not seek help and therefore needlessly suffer for long periods of time from emotional pain, anxiety, excessive anger, old resentments and depression, is their perceived stigma associated with receiving mental health care. They regard getting help as embarrassing, something others do but not themselves. — Susan Heitler Ph.D.

• Family counseling is a great way for someone to assess the family dynamics. With Family counseling, the entire family attends sessions and talks with the counselor.
• Group counseling is a great form of support. These sessions include a group of individuals with similar concerns coming together with a trained counselor who provides guidance. Foster Care Support groups can be a great source of support resources for families.

There are a number of resources and support tools available. Knowing what you hope to achieve is the first step to seeking support. Finding what best suits your needs and those of your family is important. Counseling and Support Services are not only for addressing challenges or problems. They also aid in providing resources that can be used throughout your life.